k-bro’s blog

 

I’m alone in the house, so it’s a perfect time to talk to the TV as the game goes. I’ll keep track - that is until someone comes home and I have to stop talking (the other members of the household just don’t get it).

Top 1: (First pitch, ball) That doesn’t bode well.
I see Livan really likes the pixie vests.
(A-Rod homers) Crappola!
(Matsui gets a base hit) Stop with the giving up of the hits already!

Top 2: (Moeller strikes out on the slow curve) Ni-iiice! I love that pitch!
What’s going on with the pitcher’s growing beards? I noticed that Blackburn was scruffy (we saw enough close-ups of his face), and now Livan is scruffy. Are they growing homer-less beards too?
(Wild pitch) Who the hell are you throwing that to? The guy on deck?
I wonder if that new Get Smart movie will be good? It kinda sounds like fun.

Bottom 2: (Cuddy gets a base hit) Yay Cuddy! So maybe the beard is lucky after all.
Hmmm. Delmon’s hitting pretty good lately.

Top 3: (Harris makes a nice play to get Giambi out) Ooh. Nice play.
Doesn’t it seem like Morneau’s getting to be better defensively all the time? He’s really a very good first baseman.

Bottom 3: (Macri at the plate) Oh, it’s pronounced ma-CREE? All the times I’ve read his name, I didn’t pronounce it that way in my head.
(Pettitte throws wildly to first allowing Go-Go to go-go to third) Go-Go runs so fast, his helmet can’t even keep up.
(Alexi bunts Go-Go home and is safe at first) Yes! When did Alexi get good at baseball?

Top 4: (Twins turn a nice double play) Sweet!

Bottom 4: (Livan pitches around a lead-off double) Nice job Livan.

Top 6: (Delmon misses two fly balls this gal thinks he should have caught and Yankees take the lead) Oh, for crying out loud Delmon!

Top 7: (Umpire blows yet another call in the Yankees’ favor allowing them to go ahead again) How much are the Yankee’s paying you Mr. Umpire? (among other profanity-laced rants I shouldn’t post because my mother reads this)

Bottom 7: Hey, Joey is clean-shaven. Whoa! JOEY HIT A HOMERUN!!! And he had a look of “whew” on his face as he went back to the dugout. Cute.

Now everyone is home again, so I have to act like a real human being again. But I can still converse in my head.

Top 8: (Cuddy throws out Jeter at second) I **heart** Cuddy’s arm! What were you thinking running on Cuddy’s arm you fool?

Bottom 8: (Cuddy hits a nice double) Cuddy! I swoon for you.
(Delmon doubles driving in Cuddy and going ahead) Delmon, I love you again.
(Delmon gets caught stealing third) Ok Delmon, I take it back.
(Go-Go strikes out swinging, again) Go-Go honey, you need to learn some patience.

Top 9: (Nathan takes the mound) Joe, no interesting! (said out loud, because I always say that out loud when Joe takes the mound)
(Nathan gives up a hit) Joe, No. More. Interesting.
(Casilla to Harris to Morneau) YES!
**clapping wildly** Joe. No. Interesting!
YES!!!!!

Twins 6 - Yankees 5
Series split 2 games each

 

Friday: Twins 4 - Rockies 2
Saturday: Twins 2 - Rockies 3
Sunday: Twins 2 - Rockies 6

Well, at least this time we don’t have to get the dustbunnies out. But seriously, I think we could have done better. Maybe the boys were tired. Maybe it was the thin air. Maybe it was the humidor balls. Who knows, but it just seemed like they were kind of flat.

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Friday’s game was kind of fun, and it was nice to break up that little losing streak. But Nathonator once again made it waaaay too interesting. Luckily, Go-Go made that nice catch to end the game. Too bad it cost him starting the next two games. And doesn’t it seem that if Go-Go isn’t in the game, the Twins just aren’t the same team? Has anyone figured out what our record is with him in versus without him in? (I know I could probably figure it out myself, but I don’t wanna. Besides, chances are that someone else already has, and why double the effort?)

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Saturday’s game was pretty good until I started paying attention. Sorry. I guess Livan had a perfect game going through the fifth. Of course, right when I got home and turned on the TV, I saw Justin Morneau try to catch Matt Holliday’s foul ball that could have been called fan interference but wasn’t. Then he doubled, and that was pretty much the end of the perfect game, eventually the shutout, and then the lead.

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And another thing, while being taking a perfect game through five innings is terrific, especially for a contact-type pitcher like Livan, I think that the KARE11 sports team needs to settle down. They teased the coverage by saying something like “Hernandez flirts with perfection.” Um, five innings isn’t “flirting” with perfection. Eight, or maybe even seven, innings is flirting. Five innings is looking up from the end of the bar and noticing that perfection keeps looking over at you. You’re not even thinking about buying it a drink yet after five.

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I missed today’s game because I was at a youth baseball tournament. (Yes, I was freezing. Thanks for asking.) I listened to the post-game coverage on the radio after we were done, and from the sound of Gardy’s reaction to the game, I think the 11 and 12-year-olds I watched play had a more polished game than our Twins.

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Excuse me, yes, I’d like to order a round of bubble wrap for the remaining healthy players please.

Let’s assess the most recent damage:

• Matt “Tigger” Tolbert is on the DL for shredding his thumb sliding head-first into first. Poor guy; he was beginning to make a good impression, and now this. And the extent of the injury (ligament damage) sounds like it’s going to take quite a bit more than a 15-day recovery.
• Then there’s Go-Go’s catch into the wall that tweaked his wrist. According to the Twins website, there’s a real possibility that he’ll land on the DL as well.
• Plus, Joey’s got a crick in his neck.

 

Twins 9 - Sox of the Red 8

Miss me? I guess I have some catching up to do. I’m also watching the game as I write this, so I’ll be flip-flopping between my thoughts of the past week with my thoughts of the game. Forgive me if I’m confusing.

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First of all, Happy Mother’s Day! If you’re a mom, I hope you enjoyed your day. If you’re not a mom, I hoped you hugged a mom.
To my mom: Love you. Sorry I didn’t actually hug you today. I told the cat to hug you for me; I hope she did.

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Top first: Hey Eeyore, nice job striking out Youkilis and Lowell. *grin*

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Speaking of Mother’s Day, mine was very nice. My kids gave me a really cool Twins shirt. I think they’ve got me pretty well figured out.

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Tuesday’s game: Gavin Floyd nearly no-hit the Twins. That must’ve been ugly. Thank goodness for Joey to break that up for us.

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Bottom second: Nice jack, Craig. *woot* Hey, has anyone come up with a good nickname for him yet?
Seriously? Adam “Adam” Everett hit a homer? Cool.

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Wednesday’s game: Go-Go hits for the cycle. I loved that. And I also loved reading his quotes. Fun stuff. I was also very impressed with Livan for taking a shutout to the ninth and completing the game.

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Bottom third: Who put the fear of God into Mike Lamb lately?

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The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up. ~Bob Uecker
Ok, so how many times did Morgan-n-Miller say the word “knuckleball” tonight?

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Thursday’s game: I actually caught part of that game on a lunch break. But it was a big yawner.

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Bottom fourth: *snicker* Big Papi was goofing around when they were interviewing Francona. In fact, he was way more interesting than Francona.

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Notes to the Injured:
Dear Pat-Pat, I wish I could take it away from you so you can get better. Rehab well and come back next year better than ever.
Dear Nicky, Get better quick.

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Friday’s game: Wow. A come-from-behind win and Lammers is the hero. Way to go!

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Bottom seventh: Hello again Mr. Monroe!
What’s up with Mike Timlin’s camouflage glove?

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Top ninth: Dear Nathanator, That was waaaaaay too interesting for my liking. But you managed to do the job, so thanks.

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And finally, one thing I learned about Vancouver that surprised me: I expected hockey to be very popular. They’re still following the Stanley Cup playoffs closely even though their team is out of it. Between hockey games, they do follow baseball. I figured that since Vancouver is so close to Seattle, they’d follow the Mariners. Nope. They follow the Blue Jays, even though they’re three time zones away. I guess all of Canada follows Canada’s only team, eh?

 

Twins 3 - Sox of the White Variety 1

Wow! Boof pitched great last night. He struck out a ton (8) of batters, and the defense behind him was strong. He even made a couple nice plays himself. Nice work, honey.

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Is Nick Swisher trying to look as ugly as possible? I mean he was pretty nasty the last time we played the Sox, but now he’s even worse. In addition to the ugly white-dyed goatee, there’s now this weird black chinstrap thing. Yuk. I’m glad I don’t have to look at that all the time.

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I’m glad Nathanator got the giving up homeruns thing out of his system when it didn’t matter instead of saving it for today.

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I kind of liked having Ron Coomer in the booth with Dick. It was interesting hearing more of a batter’s point of view. But I am glad Bert will be back next time.

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Didn’t Kubel’s homer just sound pretty when he hit it?

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My favorite play was that double-play that Delmon got when he caught Thome’s fly ball up against the wall, and threw to Harris who threw out Swisher returning to first. Absolute poetry there.

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And finally, the “All Together Now” moment of the game: When Ron was reading the disclaimer (“This copyrighted telecast is presented on the authority of the Minnesota Twins…”) and he started stumbling, I just recited it from memory, and finished it way before he did. At first, I was feeling all superior, being able to just say it while he has a hard time reading it. But then it hit me: who’s the real dork here?

 

Friday: Twins 0 - Cleveland 4

Saturday: Twins 3 - Cleveland 0

Sunday: Twins 2 - Cleveland 1

My thoughts on Friday’s game: Pew. I don’t even want to remember it.

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My thoughts on Saturday’s game: Well, I didn’t see it. It sounded like it was a lot of fun. It actually sounded like my kind of game - great pitching and great defense. Turning four double plays is hot. I was busy enjoying a high school production of “Beauty and the Beast”.

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My thoughts on today’s game: Groovy. In fact, I’m so happy, I’m breaking out my bullet-points.

• Scotty pitched very nicely. I think he’s going to be the strikeout leader of the team.
• Hey! A Twin not named Justin Morneau or Jason Kubel finally hit a homerun! Congrats on your first Twins homer Brendan Harris. An opposite field one, too.
• Go-Go’s catch was muy caliente.

  

• They showed the new commercial with the pitchers singing. It was flippin’ hilarious. Those commercials get better every time. It’s funny that Joe Nathan, who said that the pitchers were the worst singing act ever, happened to be the very worst of them all. All the guys looked like they had a great time; Boof was especially goofy (ha ha, get it, Goofy Boof). I just checked the Twins website to see if was there, but it wasn’t yet. I imagine it’ll be there in the next day or two.
• They have “All you can eat night“?!? Sweet! I could bring my sons and make those dome vendors rue that idea. Trust me, my boys can really put it away when dared to. I’ll have to check our schedule.
• Do you think that Justin Morneau walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 10^th signing “Here I come to save the day” ala Dudley Do-right like they say in the radio commercial? Nice work, Justin.

  

And finally, the “Gotta Love Dick-n-Bert” moment of the game (double):
1) In the bottom of the 10^th, with Jason Kubel at the plate:
Dick: [something like] “They don’t want to walk Kubel here.”
Bert: “Sure they do. Then they know where he’s at.”

2) Again in the bottom of the 10^th, with Justin Morneau at the plate, Dick was going on and on, carrying on both sides of a conversation over whether Jason Kubel should take second “his run doesn’t matter, but it might take the bat out of Morneau’s hand, but if they get to two strikes, they might have to think about it….” Turned out it didn’t matter.

 

Twins 6 - (Don’t Call Them Devil) Rays 5

Whew. Like many gals, I twist my hair when I’m nervous. Being a Twins fan has caused a permanent twist in my hair. And not a fashionable French twist, but more of a McDonald’s Fry Kid look. This game was one of those games where I would twist it when the Rays scored, undo it when we went ahead, twist it when they tied it up, undo when we went ahead, then twist it until it almost came out of my head when Joe Nathan was on the mound. Who needs a perm when there’s Twins baseball?

 

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Joey Mauer was sure fun to watch. Going 3 for 4 and throwing out 2 would-be basestealers is hot.

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I was very conflicted when Barty committed that throwing error that allowed two Twins runs. I always liked him, and I want him to do well with his new team. But, Twins runs are more important to me, so I was happy.

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Speaking of Barty, there’s one thing I always wanted to know about him. What does the tattoo on his forearm say? I remember trying to figure it out last year, but I never got it. And I saw it again last night.

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Debate of the day: When Carl Crawford made that diving catch in foul territory to allow Delmon Young to score, was it really a mistake?  At the time, I agreed with Dick-n-Bert and thought that he should have allowed it to drop and given his pitcher another chance to get the batter out. However, hubby thought he made the right play because you should always try to get the out. Afterall, how would have been if the batter would have got a base hit on the next pitch? I guess he makes a good point.  All I know is that it worked out in favor of the Twins, and that’s all I really care about.

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And finally, the “I Think My Brains Hurt” moment of the game: At one point, a Twins batter (I forget who) fouled a ball that smacked Scott Ullger in the right butt cheek. Ouch. Too bad their new helmets don’t cover up that part.

With no game last night, and for some reason half my cable channels weren’t working, I caught up on reading all the Sports Illustrated magazines I have laying around.

In last week’s issue, Joe Nathan was featured in the “Pop Culture Grid”.  They list four players from various sports and ask them random questions that have pretty short answers.  They put the answers in a grid format.  Here’s what our guy said:

Q: Gossip story that still facinates you.
A: Talk to my wife.

Q: Favorite thing to chew.
A: Steak.

Q: Favorite thing to microwave.
A: Grandma’s leftovers.

Q: Car you’re dying to test-drive.
A: Livan Hernandez’s Lamborghini.

Q: Worst signing act ever.
A: The Twins in our recent commercial shoot.

I am soooo looking forward to that new commercial.

Dear Livan:

Honey, k-bro wants a ride in your fancy car.  Paleeeze.

Love,
k-bro