k-bro’s blog

 

I’m alone in the house, so it’s a perfect time to talk to the TV as the game goes. I’ll keep track - that is until someone comes home and I have to stop talking (the other members of the household just don’t get it).

Top 1: (First pitch, ball) That doesn’t bode well.
I see Livan really likes the pixie vests.
(A-Rod homers) Crappola!
(Matsui gets a base hit) Stop with the giving up of the hits already!

Top 2: (Moeller strikes out on the slow curve) Ni-iiice! I love that pitch!
What’s going on with the pitcher’s growing beards? I noticed that Blackburn was scruffy (we saw enough close-ups of his face), and now Livan is scruffy. Are they growing homer-less beards too?
(Wild pitch) Who the hell are you throwing that to? The guy on deck?
I wonder if that new Get Smart movie will be good? It kinda sounds like fun.

Bottom 2: (Cuddy gets a base hit) Yay Cuddy! So maybe the beard is lucky after all.
Hmmm. Delmon’s hitting pretty good lately.

Top 3: (Harris makes a nice play to get Giambi out) Ooh. Nice play.
Doesn’t it seem like Morneau’s getting to be better defensively all the time? He’s really a very good first baseman.

Bottom 3: (Macri at the plate) Oh, it’s pronounced ma-CREE? All the times I’ve read his name, I didn’t pronounce it that way in my head.
(Pettitte throws wildly to first allowing Go-Go to go-go to third) Go-Go runs so fast, his helmet can’t even keep up.
(Alexi bunts Go-Go home and is safe at first) Yes! When did Alexi get good at baseball?

Top 4: (Twins turn a nice double play) Sweet!

Bottom 4: (Livan pitches around a lead-off double) Nice job Livan.

Top 6: (Delmon misses two fly balls this gal thinks he should have caught and Yankees take the lead) Oh, for crying out loud Delmon!

Top 7: (Umpire blows yet another call in the Yankees’ favor allowing them to go ahead again) How much are the Yankee’s paying you Mr. Umpire? (among other profanity-laced rants I shouldn’t post because my mother reads this)

Bottom 7: Hey, Joey is clean-shaven. Whoa! JOEY HIT A HOMERUN!!! And he had a look of “whew” on his face as he went back to the dugout. Cute.

Now everyone is home again, so I have to act like a real human being again. But I can still converse in my head.

Top 8: (Cuddy throws out Jeter at second) I **heart** Cuddy’s arm! What were you thinking running on Cuddy’s arm you fool?

Bottom 8: (Cuddy hits a nice double) Cuddy! I swoon for you.
(Delmon doubles driving in Cuddy and going ahead) Delmon, I love you again.
(Delmon gets caught stealing third) Ok Delmon, I take it back.
(Go-Go strikes out swinging, again) Go-Go honey, you need to learn some patience.

Top 9: (Nathan takes the mound) Joe, no interesting! (said out loud, because I always say that out loud when Joe takes the mound)
(Nathan gives up a hit) Joe, No. More. Interesting.
(Casilla to Harris to Morneau) YES!
**clapping wildly** Joe. No. Interesting!
YES!!!!!

Twins 6 - Yankees 5
Series split 2 games each

 

Friday: Twins 4 - Rockies 2
Saturday: Twins 2 - Rockies 3
Sunday: Twins 2 - Rockies 6

Well, at least this time we don’t have to get the dustbunnies out. But seriously, I think we could have done better. Maybe the boys were tired. Maybe it was the thin air. Maybe it was the humidor balls. Who knows, but it just seemed like they were kind of flat.

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Friday’s game was kind of fun, and it was nice to break up that little losing streak. But Nathonator once again made it waaaay too interesting. Luckily, Go-Go made that nice catch to end the game. Too bad it cost him starting the next two games. And doesn’t it seem that if Go-Go isn’t in the game, the Twins just aren’t the same team? Has anyone figured out what our record is with him in versus without him in? (I know I could probably figure it out myself, but I don’t wanna. Besides, chances are that someone else already has, and why double the effort?)

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Saturday’s game was pretty good until I started paying attention. Sorry. I guess Livan had a perfect game going through the fifth. Of course, right when I got home and turned on the TV, I saw Justin Morneau try to catch Matt Holliday’s foul ball that could have been called fan interference but wasn’t. Then he doubled, and that was pretty much the end of the perfect game, eventually the shutout, and then the lead.

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And another thing, while being taking a perfect game through five innings is terrific, especially for a contact-type pitcher like Livan, I think that the KARE11 sports team needs to settle down. They teased the coverage by saying something like “Hernandez flirts with perfection.” Um, five innings isn’t “flirting” with perfection. Eight, or maybe even seven, innings is flirting. Five innings is looking up from the end of the bar and noticing that perfection keeps looking over at you. You’re not even thinking about buying it a drink yet after five.

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I missed today’s game because I was at a youth baseball tournament. (Yes, I was freezing. Thanks for asking.) I listened to the post-game coverage on the radio after we were done, and from the sound of Gardy’s reaction to the game, I think the 11 and 12-year-olds I watched play had a more polished game than our Twins.

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Excuse me, yes, I’d like to order a round of bubble wrap for the remaining healthy players please.

Let’s assess the most recent damage:

• Matt “Tigger” Tolbert is on the DL for shredding his thumb sliding head-first into first. Poor guy; he was beginning to make a good impression, and now this. And the extent of the injury (ligament damage) sounds like it’s going to take quite a bit more than a 15-day recovery.
• Then there’s Go-Go’s catch into the wall that tweaked his wrist. According to the Twins website, there’s a real possibility that he’ll land on the DL as well.
• Plus, Joey’s got a crick in his neck.

Twins 7 - The Team That Calls Itself World Champions 3
Twins take series 3-1

So, most of us had a choice last night. What did you decide? The ESPN yahoos or our lovable Dick-n-Bert? Me? I chose Dick-n-Bert. I guess I just like familiarity. And I think I made a good choice. Did ESPN show shots of Boof unraveling a baseball? I doubt it. But our guys stuck with the story until conclusion and Boof got to the core of the matter.

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Up until the seventh, Boof’s unwrapping adventure was the most adorable moment of the game. Then Cuddy did his little juggling magic trick pulling a baseball out of his hat. That play will probably be the most adorable moment of the whole season. And Dick laughing about it was almost as adorable.

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In fact, the whole game was pretty much adorable. Coming from behind is adorable. Stringing hits together for runs is adorable. And even though giving up three runs in the first isn’t so much adorable, settling down and not allowing any more might be. However, catching a screaming liner and stinging your hand is adorable. And, in a weird way, watching the opposing pitcher throw a temper tantrum is adorable. In fact, in honor of all the adorableness, I’ll post this adorable picture.

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It seems that Livan likes the pixie vests - he’s two for two at home with them. I guess if he keeps getting these results, I’ll get used to them.

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A non-adorable moment was when Delmon rolled his ankle running the basepaths. Fortunately, it doesn’t sound like it’s too serious. I hope he’ll be fine.

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And finally, the “even though it happened to a division rival, it’s still really cool” moment of the day: Last night, Asdrubal Cabrera of the Cleveland Indians completed an unassisted triple play. It’s like only the 14th in major league history. Pretty groovy.

 

Twins 11 - Tigers 1

Ok, I have to admit that during the pre-game, I was really worried about this game. They were talking about how the Tigers have been playing well lately (notice that I didn’t say “as of late” - that’s another topic all together*), ever since the last time they played the Twins. And Livan was pitching, and we all know what happened last time he did that. To top it off, they were wearing the ridiculous pixie vests. In my mind, all this added up to a feeling of dread. Luckily, my instincts were way off. And if it turns out that the pixie vests were the good luck charms, well I guess I’m willing to give them another chance. It’ll be interesting to see if Livan is superstitious.

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My Dearest Go-Go,
Please be ok.
Love, k-bro

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Speaking of Go-Go’s injury, I was really impressed that Pudge marched out there to make sure he was ok. It even looked like the umpire tried to stop him, but he would have none of that.

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My favorite thing about the game: Livan’s 61 mph curveball falling in for a strike.

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Sad news about Gardy’s brother. It reminds me that I need to remember what’s important in my life. Extra hugs and kisses for my family this weekend.

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And finally, the “Ain’t No Way You Can Get Me To Say That Word On Air Again” moment of the game: Dick-N-Bert were talking about Miguel Cabrera’s reaction to the aforementioned 61 mph curveball. Apparently he didn’t like it and told Livan so. Dick said something about not knowing how to read lips and not knowing Spanish, but pretty sure he still knew what he said. And then Bert said, “I’m not gonna say it, you say it.” Heh heh.

*Why do sportscasters feel the need to say “as of late” when they mean “lately”? No one else says “as of late” (“Hey Jim, what’ve you been up to as of late?” “Well Bob, not much, but as of late Joyce has been nagging me to take her on a cruise.”). What’s wrong with “lately”? It’s a perfectly nice word, and not a snooty.

 

Saturday: Twins 12 - Rangers 6

Sunday: Twins 0 - Rangers 10

Since Saturday’s game was more fun, I’ll talk about it first. Too bad I didn’t see much of it, and didn’t hear any of it. I was visiting friends, and they had the TV on in the corner for me, but it was muted. The score was 5 - 2 Rangers when I sneered and opened another beer. Then, every time I looked up, there was someone in a blue jersey missing, booting, or otherwise duffing a ball. That was fun.

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I also saw Cuddy’s homer. Nice work, sweetie.

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Ahem, now today’s game. Yeah, not as much fun. Is it time to start worrying about Livan? Is he beginning to remind anyone of another pitcher who looked good at first, but then wound up getting released (hint hint Ramon Ortiz)? Let’s hope not; perhaps I’m just being premature.

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And finally, the “Kids Are Great” moment of the game: I think they have microphones pointing at the crowd during the broadcasts to get the “at the ballpark” feel on TV. Well, the microphone must have been pointing at some kids today, because I could hear them really clearly. For the most part, they were cheering for their team like you would expect - “Let’s go [whoever's at bat]“, or “Let’s go Rangers”, etc. But I totally laughed my head off when, while Livan was struggling, I heard them shout, “We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher!” Me too, kids, me too. I don’t know why I thought it was so funny - I guess it reminded me of “Little Big League”.

Twins 1 - Royals 5

Twins take series 2 - 1

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Liriano’s return was exactly as I expected because, well, I didn’t expect much. Some will say it was a success; some will say he needed more time in the minors. I’m willing to be patient. I think it’s fine that he’s up with the major league team; he may as well get his work in here. But it’s unreasonable to expect that he’ll be back to his old self just yet. It’ll take time for him to work up to that level. We, and he, need to be patient. And that’s ok by me.

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On the other hand, Boof and Livan have been surprisingly fun to watch. I was happy that Boof finally got the run support yesterday to win. Keep it up, guys.

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I feel bad that I professed my admiration of the Twins cool stocking caps. They’ve had to wear them so often lately, I’m sure they’re tired of it. And they probably won’t be able to get rid of them in Detroit. It looks like it’s supposed to be chilly the next couple of evenings.

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And finally, the “Fall Down, Turn Around, Get the Ball and Throw” moment of the weekend (from Saturday’s game): That play where Everett hit the ball into Tomko’s leg, and then Tomko backhanded it to Gload, who did a bellyflop to catch it to get the out was just crazy. Sometimes the other team makes fun plays too I guess.
I didn’t really find anything “moment-worthy” from today’s game, but I was kind of doing a bunch of other things while the game was on, so I wasn’t giving it my undivided attention.

Livan had another good game.  And so did Tolbert, Span, Go-Go, and Justin. At least that’s according to the box scores.  The game wasn’t on tv.  But I didn’t mind, because the Wild were on.  Playoff hockey is pretty fun, especially when the Wild win.  It was a pretty cool game, but a little too roller-coaster for me. I’d like it better if the Wild got the lead early and kept it.  I like when the Twins do that too, which they did.

Since there wasn’t a game to watch, I don’t have a moment of the game.  However, I do have a substitue…

And finally, the “You’d Think the Twins Would Keep Closer Track of Their Players” moment of the day: Earlier today, I visited the Twins website, and off to the side, they had a video clip of Kubel’s grand slam on Wednesday.  Too bad he hit it against the Red Sox while the rest of the Twins were playing the White Sox.

With no game last night, and for some reason half my cable channels weren’t working, I caught up on reading all the Sports Illustrated magazines I have laying around.

In last week’s issue, Joe Nathan was featured in the “Pop Culture Grid”.  They list four players from various sports and ask them random questions that have pretty short answers.  They put the answers in a grid format.  Here’s what our guy said:

Q: Gossip story that still facinates you.
A: Talk to my wife.

Q: Favorite thing to chew.
A: Steak.

Q: Favorite thing to microwave.
A: Grandma’s leftovers.

Q: Car you’re dying to test-drive.
A: Livan Hernandez’s Lamborghini.

Q: Worst signing act ever.
A: The Twins in our recent commercial shoot.

I am soooo looking forward to that new commercial.

Dear Livan:

Honey, k-bro wants a ride in your fancy car.  Paleeeze.

Love,
k-bro