k-bro’s blog

 

I’m alone in the house, so it’s a perfect time to talk to the TV as the game goes. I’ll keep track - that is until someone comes home and I have to stop talking (the other members of the household just don’t get it).

Top 1: (First pitch, ball) That doesn’t bode well.
I see Livan really likes the pixie vests.
(A-Rod homers) Crappola!
(Matsui gets a base hit) Stop with the giving up of the hits already!

Top 2: (Moeller strikes out on the slow curve) Ni-iiice! I love that pitch!
What’s going on with the pitcher’s growing beards? I noticed that Blackburn was scruffy (we saw enough close-ups of his face), and now Livan is scruffy. Are they growing homer-less beards too?
(Wild pitch) Who the hell are you throwing that to? The guy on deck?
I wonder if that new Get Smart movie will be good? It kinda sounds like fun.

Bottom 2: (Cuddy gets a base hit) Yay Cuddy! So maybe the beard is lucky after all.
Hmmm. Delmon’s hitting pretty good lately.

Top 3: (Harris makes a nice play to get Giambi out) Ooh. Nice play.
Doesn’t it seem like Morneau’s getting to be better defensively all the time? He’s really a very good first baseman.

Bottom 3: (Macri at the plate) Oh, it’s pronounced ma-CREE? All the times I’ve read his name, I didn’t pronounce it that way in my head.
(Pettitte throws wildly to first allowing Go-Go to go-go to third) Go-Go runs so fast, his helmet can’t even keep up.
(Alexi bunts Go-Go home and is safe at first) Yes! When did Alexi get good at baseball?

Top 4: (Twins turn a nice double play) Sweet!

Bottom 4: (Livan pitches around a lead-off double) Nice job Livan.

Top 6: (Delmon misses two fly balls this gal thinks he should have caught and Yankees take the lead) Oh, for crying out loud Delmon!

Top 7: (Umpire blows yet another call in the Yankees’ favor allowing them to go ahead again) How much are the Yankee’s paying you Mr. Umpire? (among other profanity-laced rants I shouldn’t post because my mother reads this)

Bottom 7: Hey, Joey is clean-shaven. Whoa! JOEY HIT A HOMERUN!!! And he had a look of “whew” on his face as he went back to the dugout. Cute.

Now everyone is home again, so I have to act like a real human being again. But I can still converse in my head.

Top 8: (Cuddy throws out Jeter at second) I **heart** Cuddy’s arm! What were you thinking running on Cuddy’s arm you fool?

Bottom 8: (Cuddy hits a nice double) Cuddy! I swoon for you.
(Delmon doubles driving in Cuddy and going ahead) Delmon, I love you again.
(Delmon gets caught stealing third) Ok Delmon, I take it back.
(Go-Go strikes out swinging, again) Go-Go honey, you need to learn some patience.

Top 9: (Nathan takes the mound) Joe, no interesting! (said out loud, because I always say that out loud when Joe takes the mound)
(Nathan gives up a hit) Joe, No. More. Interesting.
(Casilla to Harris to Morneau) YES!
**clapping wildly** Joe. No. Interesting!
YES!!!!!

Twins 6 - Yankees 5
Series split 2 games each

Announcing k-bro’s Boyfriend from this day forward:

Ready…

Aim…

And k-bro’s Boyfriend-Off-The-Bench (I was gonna say “Vice Boyfriend”, but that’s kind of creepy)…

Long shall they reign.

It’s been a month now since I started evaluating my options for a new Baseball Boyfriend (BB).  After much thought and consideration, I’ve narrowed the field of candidates.  Five promising prospects survived the first cut.

Ooh, this is going to be fun.  I feel a little like Annie Savoy - except without all the cool clothes*.

I’ve listed them in alphabetical order:

Cuddyer, Michael:
Nickname: Cuddy, Cuddy-honey
Pluses: This man is downright good-looking; gorgeous, even. The dimples, the gentle Southern accent, the quiet confidence are all very attractive qualities. Plus, the whole “don’t-even-think-about-taking-an-extra-base-because-I’ll-throw-your-ass-out” thing he has going on - very sexy. Plus, I already have the shirt**.
Minus: Ok, this is going to be totally irrational, but I have a real problem with the magician thing.  And it’s not a “gee honey, I wish you wouldn’t do that” problem. It’s a “if you do that, I’ll have to leave the room and cower in the corner” problem. Such is the nature of phobias I guess.

Gardenhire, Ron:
Nickname: Gardy (nope, I don’t have anything more original than that)
Pluses: You gotta love a man in charge. He has fun nicknames for everyone (Mike Lamb = Lammers, Carlos Gomez = Go Go). He has the cutest clichés (“battled his tail off”). And he looks a little like a garden gnome - the friendly, adorable kind, not the creepy kind.
Minus: Like managers in every profession, he doesn’t really do anything; he delegates. You won’t see him hitting triples, turning double plays, or striking out batters with a nice curveball.  He just tells other people to.

Nathan, Joe:
Nickname: Nathanator
Pluses:  The best closer ever. And he has a great smile. And the fact that he not only says he wants to be a Twin for a while, he actually proves it by signing a contract that is likely less than what he could have made if he waited to be a free agent.
Minus:  One inning, at the end of the game, every once in awhile - I need more commitment than that. And while the twitching is adorable at first, it bothers me after a while.

Punto, Nick:
Nickname: LNP, Little Nicky
Pluses: He is absolutely adorable. He’s just got that something. I can’t name it. I love the hustle. I really love the defense. I love the sliding headfirst into first.
Minus: Let’s be honest: if that batting average doesn’t improve this year, he seriously jeopardizes his amount of playing time. Besides, so many guy Twins fans, and radio sports-talk show hosts, seem to throw so much hate at him, I fear I’ll grow weary defending him.

Redmond, Mike:
Nickname: Red, Red-Dog
Pluses: This guy seems like he would be fun to go out and have a beer with. I think he would tell great stories. It’s clear he loves this game and he loves this team.  He’s always on the top step of the dugout, cheering for his teammates. And I love his toughness.
Minus: That toughness makes me worry too much.  Seriously, how many foul balls can a man take off his head/hands/other before he just breaks? Why does he always get nicked, banged, stung, bruised, battered, knocked, etc.?  It’s just hard to watch.

*In a serendipitous twist of fate, as I was typing this, I flipped the channels and found Bull Durham airing on AMC.

**The story of the “Cuddy is my boyfriend” shirt: It was 2005, before the Twins were out of it, so the games still mattered. And Bat-Girl was still in the blogging business. It was late in the game; the Twins were down by a run with two runners on. When Cuddy stepped to the plate, I told him, through the TV, “Cuddy honey, if you do something special, I’ll buy your shirt.” And because he can hear me when I talk through the TV, he smacked a double halfway up the baggie. And because I keep my promises, I bought the shirt, even though Brad Radke was my real boyfriend at the time.

It’s been a little over a year since my previous baseball boyfriend, Brad Radke, left me for retirement.  I was so devastated that I decided to take the year off from Baseball Boyfriends (BB).

But, since every good baseball fan needs a BB, I’m ready to start looking for a new one.  Because this is a serious commitment, I need to do this in steps — kind of like a compatibility profile.

First, I need to decide which qualities I’m looking for in a BB.  In the past, I had a thing for pitchers, but I don’t want to limit myself anymore.  There are plenty of quality non-pitcher candidates that I don’t want to exclude anyone.

I know what I like. Slick defense is very hot - I get totally turned on by a beautiful turn of a double play. I also love things such as speed, guts, personality, and toughness.  Looks count, too. So does good works both on and off the field.

It’s been said that chicks dig the long ball.  Well not this chick.  To me, homeruns are like going out to dinner at Perkins - they’re nice, they get the job done, but they’re not particularly special. I’m looking for more.

So in the next few weeks, I’ll evaluate my options.  I’ll pay attention to the stories from spring training and find out who are good teammates, who play well, who are likable, and who make me laugh.

___________________________________________
Wondering where they are update:  Shannon Stewart returns to the Blue Jays with a minor league contract and an invite to spring training.