I Know They Can Hear Me
I’m alone in the house, so it’s a perfect time to talk to the TV as the game goes. I’ll keep track - that is until someone comes home and I have to stop talking (the other members of the household just don’t get it).
Top 1: (First pitch, ball) That doesn’t bode well.
I see Livan really likes the pixie vests.
(A-Rod homers) Crappola!
(Matsui gets a base hit) Stop with the giving up of the hits already!
Top 2: (Moeller strikes out on the slow curve) Ni-iiice! I love that pitch!
What’s going on with the pitcher’s growing beards? I noticed that Blackburn was scruffy (we saw enough close-ups of his face), and now Livan is scruffy. Are they growing homer-less beards too?
(Wild pitch) Who the hell are you throwing that to? The guy on deck?
I wonder if that new Get Smart movie will be good? It kinda sounds like fun.
Bottom 2: (Cuddy gets a base hit) Yay Cuddy! So maybe the beard is lucky after all.
Hmmm. Delmon’s hitting pretty good lately.
Top 3: (Harris makes a nice play to get Giambi out) Ooh. Nice play.
Doesn’t it seem like Morneau’s getting to be better defensively all the time? He’s really a very good first baseman.
Bottom 3: (Macri at the plate) Oh, it’s pronounced ma-CREE? All the times I’ve read his name, I didn’t pronounce it that way in my head.
(Pettitte throws wildly to first allowing Go-Go to go-go to third) Go-Go runs so fast, his helmet can’t even keep up.
(Alexi bunts Go-Go home and is safe at first) Yes! When did Alexi get good at baseball?
Top 4: (Twins turn a nice double play) Sweet!
Bottom 4: (Livan pitches around a lead-off double) Nice job Livan.
Top 6: (Delmon misses two fly balls this gal thinks he should have caught and Yankees take the lead) Oh, for crying out loud Delmon!
Top 7: (Umpire blows yet another call in the Yankees’ favor allowing them to go ahead again) How much are the Yankee’s paying you Mr. Umpire? (among other profanity-laced rants I shouldn’t post because my mother reads this)
Bottom 7: Hey, Joey is clean-shaven. Whoa! JOEY HIT A HOMERUN!!! And he had a look of “whew” on his face as he went back to the dugout. Cute.
Now everyone is home again, so I have to act like a real human being again. But I can still converse in my head.
Top 8: (Cuddy throws out Jeter at second) I **heart** Cuddy’s arm! What were you thinking running on Cuddy’s arm you fool?
Bottom 8: (Cuddy hits a nice double) Cuddy! I swoon for you.
(Delmon doubles driving in Cuddy and going ahead) Delmon, I love you again.
(Delmon gets caught stealing third) Ok Delmon, I take it back.
(Go-Go strikes out swinging, again) Go-Go honey, you need to learn some patience.
Top 9: (Nathan takes the mound) Joe, no interesting! (said out loud, because I always say that out loud when Joe takes the mound)
(Nathan gives up a hit) Joe, No. More. Interesting.
(Casilla to Harris to Morneau) YES!
**clapping wildly** Joe. No. Interesting!
YES!!!!!
Twins 6 - Yankees 5
Series split 2 games each
